Last week saw the collection of money at traffic lights for a well-known, registered charity. I am all for charity and fundraising, and give willingly myself where and when I can to reputable charities, but I cannot stand being approached at traffic lights.
I think collecting at traffic lights is horrible. There is a real sense of pressure and of being backed into a corner; you cannot escape. I don't like charity being forced on me; I don't like being approached when I am in my car as I feel vulnerable, and most of the time I don't have a wallet on me (school runs, gym etc), but when I explain that to the collectors, I often feel as though they think I am fibbing. Everything about it is off-putting. I also read some time ago that this practise was being made illegal, but have not seen it stop, so once again I do not know if this is a case of another law being ignored, or if it was never passed.
Of course, we should all give what we can whether it is monetary, our time or just plain compassion, but we should be allowed to make the choice for ourselves as to when we will do it and who we will do it for. Many people give selflessly without publicising it and at their own discretion, but then when they are unable to give to those collecting at traffic lights, supermarket entrances and street corners, they are made to feel like Scrooge.
I also despise the two-facedness of some of the people who collect. A few weeks back, I bought a CD of children's Greek songs from my regular children's charity. A couple of nights later, I parked up at the seafront to meet some friends for coffee. I literally had €10 in my wallet for the meeting. A middle-aged man approached me with smiles and over-friendliness explaining that he was collecting for a children's charity and showed me his credentials, which appeared to be in order. I explained that I had given to a different charity a few days earlier and didn't have enough on me to also give him. At first he tried to tell me that if I gave to one children's charity I could easily give to another as he worked with them too. I tried to walk off, politely and firmly telling him that I was sorry, but I simply couldn't give. Then the mask of smiles came off and I was met with a tirade of abuse as I walked away. He told me that God would judge me, that I was a horrible person, and all sorts. Ironically, some of these people think they are virtuous because they collect for charity and have the right to judge others – not a very charitable trait at all!
At the end of the day, these collectors are doing more harm than good. The minute they open their mouths and start trying to introduce themselves with a voice full of over-friendliness and a long and convoluted story, I am completely put off and my first instinct is just to say 'no thank you' without hearing the end of their over-the-top speech. If they would quietly position themselves somewhere where I am not forced to give, but can decide for myself, then they have a much greater chance of my goodwill.
I am sure that not all people who collect for charity will turn nasty if you say no, but I am certainly always a little fearful. 'Giving' by definition means you want to offer something willingly, being forced to is called 'duress', and there is nothing charitable about that.
First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly, 24/10/14
