On yer bike! - Paula Manoli-Gray

It's a good time to be a cyclist in Larnaca!

I personally don't cycle myself due to not being confident with these kind of things, but I am certainly encouraged on behalf of those who do at how much progress has been made.

The island – and Larnaca – have always been favoured by cyclists from abroad as a place to train, as well as a fantastic destination to hold major cycling tournaments, thanks to our favourable weather and terrain, but locals didn't particularly take cycling seriously as a mode of transport in modern times.

Fast forward to today and in a short period of time, cycling has exploded; not just as a mode of transport or a hobby, but also in terms of conditions for cyclists. The municipality is doing much to encourage the environmentally-friendly mode of transport and is participating in European initiatives that highlight the benefits, and it should be applauded for its efforts. Furthermore, we now have organised cycling groups that meet regularly; many families go on weekend rides; people with cars actually opt to use bikes to get from A to B instead, and the network of cycle paths keeps growing and growing and growing.

So why oh why is it that I still find myself stuck behind cyclists on the road, who are riding parallel to the cycle paths? Is there something wrong with the paths or is it a case of 'careful what you wish for, it may come true'? Maybe it is just me, but I have driven past countless cyclists who are cycling on the road, right next to one of the nice new cycle paths – two or more abreast, and it does not endear them to me at all.

Cyclists have always moaned that motorists are oblivious to their right to use the road, or fail to acknowledge them, and in turn, motorists have found cyclists a nuisance – especially when they do ride two or more abreast and take up the whole road. So I think it is fair now to say that motorists should stick to the road and cyclists to the cycle paths… isn't it? Or am I missing something?

The only thing I can conclude is that maybe the cycle paths feel restrictive to cyclists, being that they are raised up like a pavement and narrow. I can only guess that maybe seasoned cyclists like to ride at a fair pace and feel unrestricted; therefore the road is a more attractive prospect?

If there are any cyclists out there who can enlighten me, I would be interested to hear their views – did the municipality get it wrong with the paths or are they just not used to using designated areas? Is it that they prefer the thrill of the road, or something more?

In the meantime, it is still fantastic to see more and more people embracing alternative means of transport and enjoying our lovely weather and scenery. It is also great to see that international-calibre cycling tournaments continue to take place in the region, putting us on the world cycling map.

As for me, if I ever have the courage to get on a bike, it's the safety and confinement of the red paths for me all the way… with training wheels on!

First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly, 24/04/15

Where is the Therapist Unity?

With the treatment jungle out there, it is hard to know what advice to take; what advice is useful and what advice is detrimental to your child's development.  Everyone is an expert in their own field but not each others.  Through conversations with other Special Needs mums and dads, I have found that many therapists heavily promote their own field of expertise, criticizing other therapies, even telling parents that other therapies are not necessary.  Or the one that really infuriates me - diagnosing a child with something e.g. ADD, ASD or ADHD without going through the correct testing process, for example watching a child for 20 minutes and deciding they are ASD (this actually happened by the way).  One parent even confided in me that her child was diagnosed with ASD by a well known psychologist/psychotherapist, who told her not to send her child to any therapies until he was 8 years old (but obviously to come to her once a week). Oh my God!  I really wanted to go to this psychologist's office, turn into a banshee so that I could scream at her
HOW DARE YOU!!!
How dare you diagnose something you are not an expert in and not refer the child to someone who is!  How dare you tell a mother not to take her child to therapy so that you can line your own pocket!  How dare you delay the correct therapy and not allow a child to reach his full potential because you think you know everything, taking advantage of parents that are trying to process the news you have just broken to them!

Taking a short course in ASD (autism spectrum disorder) or ABA therapy (applied behaviour analysis) does not make you an expert.  I mean does doing a first aid course qualify someone to work as a doctor in a hospital? Of course not! So parents please, if you want to truly diagnose your child, go to someone who specializes in Developmental and Behavior Pediatrics.

I admit, I am lucky.  We have managed to find therapists who have gone out of their way to help our child, but more than that, they have been willing to work with the other therapists to help my son generalize his skills (as ASD children tend to acquire a skill with one therapist but do not know how to transfer that skill to other parts of their lives like school, home etc...).  And this is thanks to our Developmental specialist who recommended we have a communication book that we pass around all our therapists and teachers (both in the morning at school and in the afternoon at his private therapies),  Each person involved in his development has to write what they have done with him that lesson, his behaviour, the outcome, goals, etc...  Then everyone else can read what he has been working on, adapt it and consolidate it in their lesson. 
It has worked beautifully, allowing my son to feel confident and progress in leaps and bounds.

In October 2013, I attended an extremely interesting seminar about bridging the gap between ABA and Speech/Language therapy.  She explained the main misconceptions these therapists have about each other and then the strengths and limitations of each.  What I understood was that these 2 therapies were like pieces of a puzzle.  The Language therapy part of the puzzle understood the anatomy/physiology of speech production, the challenges of motor speech disorders and the components of language, whereas the ABA therapy part of the puzzle had formal training in behaviour management strategies, specialized in autism and had expertise in instructional design.  When these two pieces of the puzzle join together, learning and collaborating with each other, the benefits for the child are immense.  In the UK and USA there are schools that incorporate all therapies under one roof on a daily basis, because they recognise that one therapy does not hold all the answers.  But here....

So to all the therapists out there, please recognise your limitations (we won't judge you on them), leave your misconceptions at the door, and find your therapist unity...for all our children's sakes. 

Time waits for no family!

I'm late! I'm late! How often do you hear this in society today, especially where family life is concerned? Why are we so stressed about time in the modern world? It seems that the more one focuses on time, the less time one has!

Everywhere I go at the moment, I’m constantly bumping into people who don’t have time; their words and not mine! No time to meet, no time to relax, no time to take time, with crazy claims like we are running out of time. How is this possible when many psychologists believe that time is actually a mind created illusion?

So let’s solve this time riddle once and for all in practical family terms. The first thing to understand is that man-invented time and it’s not something that naturally exists, except in our minds. In fact most people on planet earth today perceive time in Newtonian Physics terms. Sir Isaac suggested that time is like a river flowing uniformly forward. Where we are on the river right now is the present; where we are heading is the future and what we have left behind is the past. If you are nodding to this explanation, then we have a problem Houston, because this is a description of time, which is a 200+ years old out of date concept and proved wrong by Einstein’s theory of special relativity, whereby time is looped. Now this is a rabbit hole that I do not want to get further into, but if you want more information read the book “In search of time” by Dan Falk, who in my view has made the best contribution to explaining the complex history of time in simple terms. The only point you need to take out of this is that we perceive time wrongly and it’s a mind created perspective.

Solving the issue of family time management is not a matter of ABC systems, or being extremely efficient. In today’s world, regardless of how efficient (this leads to stress) you are, you will never be able to meet all your objectives, assuming you have a moderately active life. We are living in the age of information overload and all of our time saving devices actually generate more tasks.

The secret is to look at the big picture and to understand the importance of priorities. The Godfather of prioritization linked to time management is the “Pareto Principle”. Pareto was an Italian economist who studied real life in combination with the economy and through thousands of research papers he discovered a general rule, which states:


· There are a significant few activities from which we gain most value and results

· There are a trivial many activities from which we gain very little value or results

· The “significant few” take up 20% of our activities and time

· The “trivial many” take up 80% of our activities and time


Rigorously applying this principle to family life makes us think very carefully about what activities really matter! It is, therefore, important to identify the significant 20% of our activities or topics that make all the difference to our lives and to focus on them to bring about the best life changing results.


Here are some simple examples for guidance:

1. 20% of our daily activities bring us 80% of our joy

Identify what these activities are and pay more time and attention to them, while reducing the activities, which make little difference. Now apply a similar response to the remaining examples.


2. 20% of our friends give us 80% of our social happiness


3. 80% of our financial results comes from just 20% of our working activities


4. 80% of our daily stress comes from 20% of life’s potential triggers


To conclude, I urge all parents reading this article to reconsider what really matters most to your family and to devote more time to it. In parallel, try to spend less time on the activities, habits, customs and social conformities that bring you little value, because cramming too much unnecessary clutter into life dilutes the essence of the family experience.

Sharon Holmes

www.larnacaparentsnetwork.com

A broken record on a broken law - Paula Manoli-Gray

Here we go again! At the expense of sounding like a broken record, I am going to once again have a moan about the issue of illegal parking, and what is not being done about it.

I have bleated on about this in the past, but it has once again been brought to my attention due to a press release from the municipality that claims that they will come down hard on illegal parking along Phoinikoudes and Piale Pasha as from… now. They kindly gave the public the grace period of the Easter holidays to continue parking (unofficially) illegally, with the intention to now curb (pun intended) the practise of parking where you want, when you want, how you want.

I don't believe a word of it. As a broken record, I will recount once more how I have for many years watched in anger as traffic wardens select one or two illegally parked cars in a line of many, issue them a ticket, then drive off leaving the other tens of cars free to have parked illegally with no consequence. I will recount again that the majority of the time, it is red licence plate rental cars that have been on the receiving end of the fines. I will repeat myself for the thousandth time that the municipality could have been raking it in if they had either put metres on these spots or actually booked people consistently.

I don't personally know any traffic wardens, therefore I do not know if they work on commission, quotas or targets, but it doesn't seem that way judging by how many illegally parked cars they drive past. And instead of people fearing the wrath of a traffic warden's little ticket book, it seems as though the traffic wardens are actually afraid to book people. It goes something like this: traffic warden trying to do their job properly finds an indisputably illegally parked car. Traffic warden gets out little ticket book to write ticket when is suddenly pounced on by angry, indignant driver. Driver proceeds to shout and swear that they are only parked so they can enjoy a coffee for half an hour and can see their car from the café (which makes it okay for some strange reason), or that they just stopped to buy a pack of cigarettes, or that they are within their rights to park illegally for a certain time, or that the traffic warden is unfairly picking on them just because they parked illegally! Traffic warden either knows the individual (or their koumbaro) and allows them to drive off (without ticket), or warns them not to do it again and lets them drive off without ticket. Occasionally, they won't back down, or if the ticket has already been written then it is too late, but there are still a large percentage of potential tickets that are talked – or shouted – out of.

This is another one of those Cypriot chicken-egg scenarios; what breeds this behaviour – is it that the laws are so lax that people know there is no need to obey them, or is it because people are so defiant and refuse to obey laws that they cannot be implemented?

Either way, I will quite confidently bet that the next time I drive down Phoinikoudes or Piale Pasha I will find multiple cars parked infuriatingly illegally and not a traffic warden in sight, or that the game of selective ticketing will be in full swing. So, here we go again!

First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly newspaper, 17/04/15

The treatment jungle..Christalla Mouskou

As a teacher, it is my natural instinct to go into research mode and after my son's diagnosis, that is exactly what I did. 
Overall I have found that there are hundreds of treatments for ASD, all with stories about how their child was miraculously "cured" of ASD by this treatment, (I hate that word "cured" as ASD is not a disease!).  I used to read all about a treatment and go to bed dreaming that I found the right one for my son; that he took the pill or did the therapy and woke up the next day.....fully communicating.

I started, (along with my doctor's guidance), the B6 and magnesium therapy.  This was the first treatment I found.  It was natural / non invasive (to an extent) and easily accessible.  The research/medical journals I read conducted an experiment on children that were weak in school, and claimed that it increased their concentration levels.  Others stated that ASD children had a deficiency in magnesium, or that B6 with magnesium decreased any side effects from the B6, together improving verbal skills, non-verbal skills, and social interaction skills. 
Sounds amazing, right? 

What it failed to tell you was how to get your 5 year old ASD son, who has issues with texture, to swallow the bloody stuff.  We tried everything!  What finally worked was hiding it in a chocolate (B6) and putting it in his juice (magnesium).  Although even that didn't last long as my bright spark of a son soon worked it out, refusing to cooperate.  His concentration did improve but to this day I do not know if it was because of the treatment or due to the intense ABA therapy he was doing at the time.  I like to think it was a bit of both, but to be truthful even when I stopped the treatment after 6 months, (because the battle to get him to take it became too difficult), his concentration levels continued to improve. 

Next I read about chelation therapy (which uses medication or other agents to remove metal,in particular mercury, from the body).  This study asserted that ASD children have decreased detoxification, so have a build up of mercury in their system.  It hypothesized that "If similarities between mercury exposure symptoms and autistic symptoms are so great, could it be possible that, in fact  mercury can be blamed as one of the main culprits in epidemic of autism?".  Now I believe in a kind of providence, and this time it came in the form of radionics.  This form of diagnosis is done through analyzing some of his hair, so it was completely non invasive, a big relief after the exhaustion of the B6/magnesium therapy.  The results found him to be healthy,
his toxin levels were practically zero, so no detoxification needed for my son.

I also read about Animal therapy, but my son is scared of any animal coming at him, so we did not pursue it.  Getting him a bunny rabbit to stroke was the closest we got.  He refused to hold her, and would only stroke her if I held her very still on my lap.  Even then, it was done with trepidation.  He does love his rabbit, but only because she is in a cage and so can't come near him. 
More recently, there has been the broccoli sprout treatment (sulforaphane) which has said to improve irritability, lethargy, hyperactivity, awareness, communication, motivation and mannerisms..  Now my son likes broccoli because he likes eating the "little trees" as he calls them, but he won't eat them everyday...who would?  I bought him the sulforaphane tablets but after the B6/magnesium and a hilarious afternoon trying to teach him to swallow a tablet (in which he kept pushing the tablet forward with his tongue), I have put it on hold for the time being.

So for a long time I have relied solely on his language, occupational and ABA therapy.  They are the ones that have yielded the best results up til now, through good old-fashioned hard work!
But, I never lose hope that one day I will find that miraculous elixir...

So this is as far as I have trekked through the treatment jungle.  There are a lot more treatments out there, some I am willing to try like scuba diving (a form of hyperbaric oxygen therapy) and aroma therapy, and others I am not, like risperidone (antipsychotic drugs) and secretin (used for digestive problems). 

There is a lot out there in the wilderness, and my advice is to continue to walk the safe path of recognized therapies, because time has shown that they will yield the best results.

Looking at Larnaca through a different perspective - Paula Manoli-Gray

I attended a meeting last week regarding Larnaca's unique selling points, where the attendees argued which of them was the absolute defining feature of the region – not because we don't have any, but because we have so many...

For some people, that may be hard to believe! It is difficult to see the appeal of your hometown objectively, especially when it is clouded by the daily grind, bills to pay, bureaucracy, frustration at the things that are not working as they should, and a lack of time to enjoy the nicer elements.

So, what do you believe separates Larnaca from other towns on the island, or other destinations even? We are actually quite a unique destination, and if that has you rolling your eyes in disbelief too, let me tell you why!

Firstly, we are the most ancient city on the island, and we have the culture to prove it. This 'ancient identity' has been retained, whilst we have also modernised. Whilst other areas of the island might have lost their original character due to their attempts to lure tourists, over-development and the like, 'we' haven't.

Secondly, despite being a popular tourist destination, we have not sold out and become a tourist resort, and this is very significant. In fact, most repeat visitors to the region come to Larnaca for this very reason. They feel that they can mingle with the locals and enjoy the town, its restaurants, nightlife, attractions and shops without being sold a tacky, 'tourist only' experience of venues geared towards visitors. What they get is authentic and no different to what we locals enjoy, whereas in certain other towns, there is a very 'you are a tourist here' feel and areas to cater for it. One of the reasons might actually be something we bemoan; our lack of big hotel resorts. Whatever it is, I hope we do not lose this characteristic.

Thirdly, Larnaca is the most compact region of the island. And by compact, I do not mean 'small', but rather, a place where you can find everything within a short or reasonable distance. Our promenades do not stretch for miles with gaps in between, our town centre is close to our coastal areas, as are our cultural and leisure attractions, and even our rural areas offer something different in just a short proximity.

Fourthly, we are a family-friendly region, yet, we are also great for the hip and beautiful! There are some areas of the island that are known for being better for the hard partiers, and there are some that are considered better for older visitors or families. We have it all! I believe this is linked with the point about being an authentic place and not a tacky tourist destination. Instead of trying to sell ourselves to one demographic of visitor by selling out, we are local life at its best, and if people want to come and experience it as we do, they are welcome to, but we don't feel the need to beg by changing our identity for them.

There are many more reasons why Larnaca is unique – we are the most central part of the island, and therefore a gateway to the rest of Cyprus, we are diverse, we are friendly (yes we are!) and, and, and!

So, if the recent crisis and the daily struggles we all face have started to get you down, it is good to remember that there are much worse places to live. Of course, that is not to say that Larnaca is the best place in the universe where streets are paved in gold, but the gold is there – in sunshine and sand, but most of all in the hearts of its people.

First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly, 10/04/15

The waiting game...

All special needs parents know that after denial comes the waiting game.  Waiting for him to settle into his new routine, waiting for him to get used to the teacher/therapist, waiting for his receptive skills to improve, waiting for him to play with other children, but most importantly, waiting for him to speak...

"In his own time" are words that I hear a lot, and say a lot, and although most of the time I mean them, sometimes I just think the unthinkable..WHY? Why does my poor child have to have language therapy twice a week, occupational therapy twice a week and ABA therapy three times a week, to be able to say the simplest of sentences, that my four year old could say at the age of two?  Why can't he be out playing with other children (which he finds difficult because he can't communicate very well verbally) or be in a swimming group instead of having to have a special needs swimming teacher, or be in a sports club? 
Why do I have to wait for these things to happen (or never happen as in many cases)? 
When I see the progress of my younger son, how he has the ability to have all these things, it really makes me sad, then frustrated, and then angry that my eldest has been denied them at the "appropriate age" or "milestone".  That he has to struggle and work so much harder than other children in order to reach so much lower than them!   

But then he smiles at me. And my build up of anger/frustration/misery subsides.  What you don't realise at first, what takes time to see, is that in between the waiting... and the achieving... there is the understanding.

It took me a year to understand that my son sought solitude at school break times not to avoid playing with other children, but to recuperate from the sensory carnival that was his classroom (as he is hypersensitive to sound); or to understand that he is proud of the fact that he can now say four or five simple sentences because it means I comprehend exactly what he wants without him having to point at it or get it himself; or to understand that he loves having one on one swimming lessons because it means the attention is completely on him, and he doesn't have to spend time waiting for his turn. 

I then pass on this understanding to his teachers and therapists so that all those around him know what I know...what he wants and more importantly what he needs.
So even though I hate the waiting game, I try to take a deep breath and wait for the understanding...

Having a ‘cracking’ time - Paula Manoli-Gray

At the beginning of spring, I am always bouncing with joy at the prospect of my favourite season in Cyprus… until my hay fever kicks in, the wet weather continues intermittently and the 'bombings' of Easter begin.

I won't harp on about the dangers of the ridiculous tradition of youths letting off pipe bombs and firecrackers, because we all know that a) it is a crazy pastime and, b) it is inevitably going to happen in the lead-up to Easter.

What I will comment on is the faux efforts of authorities and parents to clamp down on this practise, which – in my opinion – is very half-hearted and just for show. I think that at the end of the day, the island's belief that it is a rite of passage and a right to maintain this tradition by far outweighs the realisation that it is one of the most terrifying and destructive aspects of living on the island.

The truth is, most of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens - who do not partake in the theft of items to burn and the letting off of bombs - are actually terrified, and terrorised by the groups that do it, and they are only kids. In essence, we are being held hostage by mere kids.

I live next door and opposite to a park, and the kids that are trying desperately to blow themselves up are under the age of 13. And they are doing it not only on my doorstep, but on their own too, which means that we are not the only ones who can see and hear what they are up to… ergo sum, their parents, and the local authorities can too. And yet, day after day, night after night it is the same madness, and I cannot let my kids anywhere near our parks for fear an unexploded firework might go off, and I am forced to jump out of my skin every time they let off (what sounds like) the world's biggest homemade pipe bomb. Do I tell them off? I can try, but the likelihood is that their parents will come and have a go at me with great indignation that junior's sacred right to maim himself for life has dared to be challenged.

And as for the theft and vandalism, what kind of country are we living in when a blind eye is turned to these crimes because 'it is tradition'? Sorry, there is no way that the authorities are doing enough or doing it with all their efforts and manpower, because I know of countless people who have called the police to report thefts, illegal bonfires or fireworks, and either no one has attended, or the youths have been mildly told to go away without any follow-up, warning or punishment.

As a parent, I have to be careful what I say about other parents and how they raise their offspring, but I think this is one time when I can confidently say that if your child is hanging around in parks, letting off illegal fireworks, lighting bonfires and stealing other people's property to fuel said fire, then either you know about it and condone it (bad parenting 101), or you need to have a much better handle on your child's whereabouts (also bad parenting 101). There, I said it out loud.

So, who can we lay the blame on? the people that sell fireworks? schools? the ineffective laws, lawmakers and implementers of laws? the police force? parents? or the youths themselves? One thing is certain, we are failing miserably as an island, and will probably do so until an unspeakable tragedy befalls our youth and it is too late.

First appeared in 'The Cyprus Weekly' newspaper, 03/04/15.

Easter Egg Hunt at Cyherbia

When:

Holy Friday, Saturday and Easter Monday (10th, 11th and 13th of April) from 9 till 6. 

Easter Sunday the park will be closed.
It’s that time of year again, when hundreds of Easter eggs have found themselves hidden in the Maze. 

Can you help to find them?
Also, Easter I Spy game in the Herb Garden, find the nests in the Woodland and have you seen the hidden bunnies?
Other games include Egg & Spoon Race, Sack Race and Tug of War. Games are ongoing all day, last admission 4 pm.
Entrance including all games and herbal (ice) tea is 5 euros p.p. Under 3's free.