Sibling Camaraderie

A close friend asked me recently  "Are you ever worried that your youngest (she is 6 months) may have ASD?".  My answer..."Almost everyday."  

I mean she is a bright little spark, squealing at her brothers like a little peacock, smiling away...but I do find myself scrutinising every new move.  When she popped her little chubby finger into my mouth, my husband and I looked at each other with silent alarm.  You see, at that age, my ASD son used to constantly pop his finger into the mouth of every person who held him, which we later discovered was a symptom to do with his sensory interpretation.  

I am lucky in a way, my eldest son was diagnosed with ASD when my second son was 5 months old.  I never had to go through the stress of "Will my second child also be special needs?" which is a fear that many other parents have to go through.  Earlier studies suggested that  autism in siblings was in the 3-10% range, however recent research has found autism in 19% of younger siblings. These are really scary statistic!  So I can perfectly understand why some parents choose not to have another child.  I know that when we decided we wanted a third child, it was definitely something on our "cons" list.

When we discovered that we were having a girl, I was a little less worried as girl siblings are only 9% likely to be autistic compared to 26% of boys.  Having one ASD child is hard work, I can't imagine what having two or more must be like.   

But, my younger son was a godsend.  Most ASD children have problems socialising with other children, not knowing how to approach them.  My ASD son really struggled with this, and with learning how to play with other children (my turn, your turn).  So you can imagine our delight when last year we saw him not only playing with his younger brother, but initiating a game (which for him is a BIG deal!).  This game play with his brother opened up the way to game play at school.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like he fully participated in all the games the kids played, but he did at least gain the confidence to approach the other children and join in some easy games...on occasion.

He has learned to be responsible for his younger brother, being very overprotective, constantly making sure that my daredevil second son doesn't hurt himself.  He has learned the idea of ownership (mine, yours), the importance of sharing and thinking of others (he always brings something home from the sweetshop for his brother when he goes with his dad - in fact he insists on it). He has learned the value of language and communication, (my second son is quite the little chatterbox), and finally he has learned the comfort of companionship (they share a room and have pushed the beds together to sleep close to each other).  It really warms my heart to see their camaraderie. 

Their sincere brotherly love has taught him all these things and so much more!  I can't wait to see what his sister will teach him...