Always for the children - Paula Manoli-Gray

Last weekend we celebrated my son's fifth birthday with a party at home. We hired a bouncy castle, laid on a buffet, party bags and lots of games with prizes. It was a wonderful day, but boy did it cost a lot! I would say it probably cost the same or more as having it at one of the play places that hold birthday parties. It seems that whichever way you choose to do, there is going to be a cost attached.

I will also be baptising my sister's new daughter in June, and although neither my sis nor I are extravagant - and she is incredibly creative and inventive - that event too will still cost a fair amount.

My point? Despite a recession, when it comes to our children, we still spend money (we often don't have) on them above anything else. Christenings and birthday parties are still big business in Cyprus, and if you want to book a play place for your do, then you have to get in quick, because the slots fill up fast.

It's always been this way. During war times when food was scarce, children would be given the meat and lion's share of the food, whilst the parents ate what was left.

When I was growing up, my parents never had any money, but my siblings and I never felt it because every Christmas and every birthday was special. We never went without the gifts or the big party and these events are some of my best childhood memories.

Years later, my mum told me that she would spend all year paying off our Christmas gifts, and whilst that saddened me, I can understand why she did it; because the look on a child's face when it lights up in delight is priceless and worth having to suffer financially for the foreseeable future (in my book). And these really are the memories that stay with you for life.

A friend who is especially struggling was faced with the option last summer to either pay her mortgage instalment or take her son on day trips throughout the school break. Her mum was nagging her to pay the mortgage and her reply was: "When (her son) is older, what will he remember about summer 2013? That we paid the mortgage or that he got to go out and have a wonderful time with his mum?" She is not an irresponsible parent, and is chipping away at her mortgage payments so she won't be homeless, but at that moment in time, she desperately wanted her son to have experiences and fun times that he would remember, rather than feel that mummy never took him anywhere because they had no money.

I know there are people out there reading this who are either at a breaking point themselves or know people who are, so this will sound ridiculous and frivolous when they can't even give their kids breakfast, but I am not talking about being reckless with money in that kind of situation. Thankfully, it is heartening to see that the community is rallying around families in real need, and that there is help out there for them.

At the end of the day, no matter what you do or don't have, you can always make your child feel special with free activities like playing in the park or at the beach, to baking them a basic cake on their birthday. Children don't know the value of things and they don't need showy or grand gestures, they simply need to feel loved and special… everyday.

 

Tide changing for pregnancy, birth and beyond - Paula Manoli-Gray

Home birth talk, information and pre/postnatal classes

Following the global trend for caesarean births and the alarmingly high percentage of them the island sees, the tide is starting to change, and attitudes towards pregnancy, giving birth and postnatal care are leaning more towards the natural, holistic and alternative.

In Larnaca, a number of individuals are now offering new options for post and prenatal wellbeing, with information and classes available in English. This includes antennal classes, baby massage, mother and child exercise classes and postnatal exercise.

In support of this changing attitude, the Larnaca Parent's Network (LPN) will be sponsoring a talk this week on natural births at home, hospital and clinics.

Taking place on Wednesday at the Little Gems Montessori premises, speaker Eline Pedersen and a panel of guests - who are advocates of natural birth - will share their knowledge and experience on the subject, with participation from the audience. Eline is a chiropractor and mother of two who had a natural birth at the hospital, and a self-assisted water birth at home.

Sharon Mckinely – founder of LPN – says: "We want to provide information and opinions about home birth, for parents who think that it might be the right choice for them, and so we are opening the floor for a dialogue between health care providers and parents."

The talk will take place from 8pm – 9.30pm and admission is free. You can state your interest in attending via the Facebook event page: Natural Births – Home Births in Cyprus.

Angela Ashby of Mama & Me has expanded to include antenatal and postnatal classes in English. Her classes guide through every step of pregnancy and cover the changing body and what to expect during pregnancy and birth (for both natural and caesarean births), exercise and wellbeing during and after pregnancy, infant care, breastfeeding and bonding, and first aid for infants. The new classes complement her existing Mama & Me classes whereby mothers exercise with their baby to help bonding whilst getting fit. As she says: 

"Pregnancy is an exciting time but it can also be nerve-wracking as the body and emotional wellbeing change. Through antennal classes, women can learn about these changes and how to manage their health and emotions. We also prepare for the birthing experience and equip women with the skills to handle labour or the recovery period after a c-section. The course also gives mums the skills to be confident and relaxed parents."

Classes can be taken one-to-one or in a group at St Raphael Private Hospital, Wow Action Park (Aradippou), and in Oroklini. You can find out more by contacting Angela on: 97610998 / angela.ashby.3557@facebook.com, or visiting her Facebook Page: Angela's Activities.

Tina Poetis of Poetis Physiotherapy Larnaca specialises in baby massage and parental skill classes, which can be taken when the infant is two months old to crawling age. The Baby Massage & Developmental Play Course runs for five weeks in small groups and demonstrates how massage can help the bonding process, as well as assisting in other developmental issues such as brain and motor development, and helping to ease digestive complaints, reduce crying and promote restful sleep. Tina says: "Massage makes the connection between your baby's emotional and physical health. Come and join a small, baby-led, relaxed class, meet other mums and have fun with your baby. You will learn a skill that you can use for life!"

For more details, contact Tina on: 24822441 or 99304660 / email tina@poetis-physiotherapy.com, or visit her Facebook page: Poetis Physiotherapy Larnaca.

 

Saint Patrick's day - 17/03/14

Saint Patrick's Day or the Feast of Saint Patrick  is a cultural and religious holiday celebrated annually on 17 March, the death date of the most commonly-recognized patron saint of Ireland, Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461).

Saint Patrick's Day was made an official Christian feast day in the early seventeenth century and is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion (especially the Church of Ireland), the Eastern Orthodox Church and Lutheran Church. The day commemorates Saint Patrick and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland as well as celebrates the heritage and culture of the Irish in general. Celebrations generally involve public parades and festivals, céilithe, and the wearing of green attire or shamrocks. Christians also attend church services, and the Lenten restrictions on eating and drinking alcohol are lifted for the day, which has encouraged and propagated the holiday's tradition of alcohol consumption.

Saint Patrick's Day is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, Newfoundland and Labrador and Montserrat. It is also widely celebrated by the Irish diaspora around the world; especially in Britain, Canada, the United States, Argentina, Australia and New Zealand. Patrick is said to have used the shamrock, a three-leaved plant, to explain the Holy Trinity to the pagan Irish. This story first appears in writing in 1726, though it may be older. In pagan Ireland, three was a significant number and the Irish had many triple deities.The triple spiral symbol appears at many ancient megalithic sites in Ireland.

The color green has been associated with Ireland since at least the 1640s, when the green harp flag was used by the Irish Catholic Confederation. Green ribbons and shamrocks have been worn on St Patrick's Day since at least the 1680s. Green was adopted as the colour of the Friendly Brothers of St Patrick, an Irish fraternity founded in about 1750.

DOGS 101

This organisation is trying to get people back to nature and believe dogs are the key to a true nature connection. This workshop - the first of a series - is free admission and will take place in English and Greek.

The effects of divorce on children

Many children whose parents divorce every year feel as if their worlds are falling apart. Divorcing parents are usually very concerned about the welfare of their children during this troublesome process.
Yet parents who split have reasons for hope. Researchers have found that only a relatively small percentage of children experience serious problems in the wake of divorce or, later, as adults.

Rapid Recovery
Divorce affects most children in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow. In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington and her then graduate student Anne  found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.

Most children of divorce also do well in the longer term. In a quantitative review, sociologist Paul R. Amato, examined the possible effects on children several years after a divorce. The studies compared children of married parents with those who experienced divorce at different ages. The investigators followed these kids into later childhood, adolescence or the teenage years, assessing their academic achievement, emotional and behavior problems, delinquency, self-concept and social relationships. On average, the studies found only very small differences on all these measures between children of divorced parents and those from intact families, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well.

Researchers have consistently found that high levels of parental conflict during and after a divorce are associated with poorer adjustment in children. The effects of conflict before the separation, however, may be the reverse in some cases. In a 1985 study Hetherington and her associates reported that some children who are exposed to high levels of marital discord prior to divorce adjust better than children who experience low levels. Apparently when marital conflict is muted, children are often unprepared when told about the upcoming divorce. They are surprised, perhaps even terrified, by the news. In addition, children from high-discord families may experience the divorce as a welcome relief from their parents' fighting.