Last weekend we celebrated my son's fifth birthday with a party at home. We hired a bouncy castle, laid on a buffet, party bags and lots of games with prizes. It was a wonderful day, but boy did it cost a lot! I would say it probably cost the same or more as having it at one of the play places that hold birthday parties. It seems that whichever way you choose to do, there is going to be a cost attached.
I will also be baptising my sister's new daughter in June, and although neither my sis nor I are extravagant - and she is incredibly creative and inventive - that event too will still cost a fair amount.
My point? Despite a recession, when it comes to our children, we still spend money (we often don't have) on them above anything else. Christenings and birthday parties are still big business in Cyprus, and if you want to book a play place for your do, then you have to get in quick, because the slots fill up fast.
It's always been this way. During war times when food was scarce, children would be given the meat and lion's share of the food, whilst the parents ate what was left.
When I was growing up, my parents never had any money, but my siblings and I never felt it because every Christmas and every birthday was special. We never went without the gifts or the big party and these events are some of my best childhood memories.
Years later, my mum told me that she would spend all year paying off our Christmas gifts, and whilst that saddened me, I can understand why she did it; because the look on a child's face when it lights up in delight is priceless and worth having to suffer financially for the foreseeable future (in my book). And these really are the memories that stay with you for life.
A friend who is especially struggling was faced with the option last summer to either pay her mortgage instalment or take her son on day trips throughout the school break. Her mum was nagging her to pay the mortgage and her reply was: "When (her son) is older, what will he remember about summer 2013? That we paid the mortgage or that he got to go out and have a wonderful time with his mum?" She is not an irresponsible parent, and is chipping away at her mortgage payments so she won't be homeless, but at that moment in time, she desperately wanted her son to have experiences and fun times that he would remember, rather than feel that mummy never took him anywhere because they had no money.
I know there are people out there reading this who are either at a breaking point themselves or know people who are, so this will sound ridiculous and frivolous when they can't even give their kids breakfast, but I am not talking about being reckless with money in that kind of situation. Thankfully, it is heartening to see that the community is rallying around families in real need, and that there is help out there for them.
At the end of the day, no matter what you do or don't have, you can always make your child feel special with free activities like playing in the park or at the beach, to baking them a basic cake on their birthday. Children don't know the value of things and they don't need showy or grand gestures, they simply need to feel loved and special… everyday.
