The waiting game...

All special needs parents know that after denial comes the waiting game.  Waiting for him to settle into his new routine, waiting for him to get used to the teacher/therapist, waiting for his receptive skills to improve, waiting for him to play with other children, but most importantly, waiting for him to speak...

"In his own time" are words that I hear a lot, and say a lot, and although most of the time I mean them, sometimes I just think the unthinkable..WHY? Why does my poor child have to have language therapy twice a week, occupational therapy twice a week and ABA therapy three times a week, to be able to say the simplest of sentences, that my four year old could say at the age of two?  Why can't he be out playing with other children (which he finds difficult because he can't communicate very well verbally) or be in a swimming group instead of having to have a special needs swimming teacher, or be in a sports club? 
Why do I have to wait for these things to happen (or never happen as in many cases)? 
When I see the progress of my younger son, how he has the ability to have all these things, it really makes me sad, then frustrated, and then angry that my eldest has been denied them at the "appropriate age" or "milestone".  That he has to struggle and work so much harder than other children in order to reach so much lower than them!   

But then he smiles at me. And my build up of anger/frustration/misery subsides.  What you don't realise at first, what takes time to see, is that in between the waiting... and the achieving... there is the understanding.

It took me a year to understand that my son sought solitude at school break times not to avoid playing with other children, but to recuperate from the sensory carnival that was his classroom (as he is hypersensitive to sound); or to understand that he is proud of the fact that he can now say four or five simple sentences because it means I comprehend exactly what he wants without him having to point at it or get it himself; or to understand that he loves having one on one swimming lessons because it means the attention is completely on him, and he doesn't have to spend time waiting for his turn. 

I then pass on this understanding to his teachers and therapists so that all those around him know what I know...what he wants and more importantly what he needs.
So even though I hate the waiting game, I try to take a deep breath and wait for the understanding...

Having a ‘cracking’ time - Paula Manoli-Gray

At the beginning of spring, I am always bouncing with joy at the prospect of my favourite season in Cyprus… until my hay fever kicks in, the wet weather continues intermittently and the 'bombings' of Easter begin.

I won't harp on about the dangers of the ridiculous tradition of youths letting off pipe bombs and firecrackers, because we all know that a) it is a crazy pastime and, b) it is inevitably going to happen in the lead-up to Easter.

What I will comment on is the faux efforts of authorities and parents to clamp down on this practise, which – in my opinion – is very half-hearted and just for show. I think that at the end of the day, the island's belief that it is a rite of passage and a right to maintain this tradition by far outweighs the realisation that it is one of the most terrifying and destructive aspects of living on the island.

The truth is, most of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens - who do not partake in the theft of items to burn and the letting off of bombs - are actually terrified, and terrorised by the groups that do it, and they are only kids. In essence, we are being held hostage by mere kids.

I live next door and opposite to a park, and the kids that are trying desperately to blow themselves up are under the age of 13. And they are doing it not only on my doorstep, but on their own too, which means that we are not the only ones who can see and hear what they are up to… ergo sum, their parents, and the local authorities can too. And yet, day after day, night after night it is the same madness, and I cannot let my kids anywhere near our parks for fear an unexploded firework might go off, and I am forced to jump out of my skin every time they let off (what sounds like) the world's biggest homemade pipe bomb. Do I tell them off? I can try, but the likelihood is that their parents will come and have a go at me with great indignation that junior's sacred right to maim himself for life has dared to be challenged.

And as for the theft and vandalism, what kind of country are we living in when a blind eye is turned to these crimes because 'it is tradition'? Sorry, there is no way that the authorities are doing enough or doing it with all their efforts and manpower, because I know of countless people who have called the police to report thefts, illegal bonfires or fireworks, and either no one has attended, or the youths have been mildly told to go away without any follow-up, warning or punishment.

As a parent, I have to be careful what I say about other parents and how they raise their offspring, but I think this is one time when I can confidently say that if your child is hanging around in parks, letting off illegal fireworks, lighting bonfires and stealing other people's property to fuel said fire, then either you know about it and condone it (bad parenting 101), or you need to have a much better handle on your child's whereabouts (also bad parenting 101). There, I said it out loud.

So, who can we lay the blame on? the people that sell fireworks? schools? the ineffective laws, lawmakers and implementers of laws? the police force? parents? or the youths themselves? One thing is certain, we are failing miserably as an island, and will probably do so until an unspeakable tragedy befalls our youth and it is too late.

First appeared in 'The Cyprus Weekly' newspaper, 03/04/15.

Easter Egg Hunt at Cyherbia

When:

Holy Friday, Saturday and Easter Monday (10th, 11th and 13th of April) from 9 till 6. 

Easter Sunday the park will be closed.
It’s that time of year again, when hundreds of Easter eggs have found themselves hidden in the Maze. 

Can you help to find them?
Also, Easter I Spy game in the Herb Garden, find the nests in the Woodland and have you seen the hidden bunnies?
Other games include Egg & Spoon Race, Sack Race and Tug of War. Games are ongoing all day, last admission 4 pm.
Entrance including all games and herbal (ice) tea is 5 euros p.p. Under 3's free.

Little Kickers Easter Egg Hunt

The Mad Hatter of nations - Paula Manoli-Gray

We are notorious for being an island with its own sense of time, and there is a long-standing joke about GMT - 'Greek Maybe Time' - thanks to people's uncanny knack for turning up horrendously late. But despite common perception that it is just a characteristic of the laid-back, hot and lazy conditions of the island, it is actually a very selective habit, which makes it all the worse.

Let me elaborate. People on the island have to go to work at certain times. They have to take their children to school and pick them up. They have to open and close shops and the like. These are everyday practises where you simply cannot be lax and late (persistently). So we can surmise that people on the island are in fact very capable of arriving on time when they have to. There are some exceptions to this – such as waiting for a courier, internet provider or handyman to turn up – but this happens the world over, so we can discount these professions for the sake of today's argument!

The issue of lateness happens mostly for social functions, and this is where I personally feel that the term 'late' sometimes goes hand-in-hand with 'disrespect'. When it comes to being invited somewhere or attending something outside of the normal work/school routine, it is like there is an unwritten law that you need to add one or more hours to the time given for said event/social function. So it goes like this: if you have been invited to someone's house for lunch at 12pm, you must not turn up until at least 1.30pm.

If you have ever been on the receiving end of this, you will be aware of the frustration, anger and pain of having your lovingly prepared meal go cold and soggy. When we first moved to Cyprus, my poor mother would almost be in tears at the sight of her banquets sitting there whilst we waited for relatives to decide to turn up. She has adapted now and usually tells visitors to arrive half an hour before she actually wants them to, but it is still soul crushing to see all your hard efforts go seemingly unappreciated.

Before I truly wizened up to getting myself to functions on time alone (instead of arranging to car share with late friends), I missed many a christening or wedding church service. My friend at the time would always want to pick me up half an hour after the event had started, whilst I argued that there was no point in turning up late when the whole point was to witness the ceremony. Despite her promises to turn up on time, she always managed to end up even later than her initial suggested time, and the two of us would enter the church as the wedding or baptism service would be ending. I found it extremely disrespectful and have never, ever been late since.

Now a parent, I have found that one of the worse cases of liberal time keeping is children's birthday parties. Only last week we were invited to a play-place party at 11am. We were the first there and as if by magic, the minute the clock struck 12pm, the majority of the guests arrived!

So why do people feel the need to disregard time? It can't be to make an entrance, as you would have to be the only one arriving late to have an impact when you walk into the room! I am afraid I have absolutely no answer regarding this practise, but if you do get a dinner invite from me, please turn up on time or you might end up wearing your (cold and soggy) meal… 

First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly, 27/03/15