My son probably has about 1001 idiosyncracies which I am sure are there to drive me absolutely around the bend! As he has grown up some have continued and some have stopped. His most noticeable one (quite a common one in ASD children) is the hand flapping and jumping up and down on the spot. It used to be accompanied by weird funny sounds but they seem to have subsided. One therapist told us that it would be a good idea to stop this little habit of his (the therapist was afraid how the other children would react to it and therefore him) but I decided not to. After all it was part of who he was, and he only does it when he is happy or excited. As a mother it really touches my heart to see this child-like joy he has, expressed in such an innocent and jubilant way. I wouldn't change it for the world. But saying that, I do control it - just by saying his name, he stops (it prevents him getting too overexcited and too over stimulated which could lead to a meltdown).
The problem with his idiosyncrasies is timing. If I am calm and relaxed (as a working mother of three this is as rare as a blue moon), I can deal with them. The thing is that they seem to rear their ugly head when I am tired/grumpy/feeling overwhelmed or sick. For example, for the last 3 or 4 years he has certain ideas of where specific pieces of furniture should be placed (maybe he is a budding Feng Shui Interior Designer). In my sitting room I change the furniture around for summer and winter - as soon as summer begins coming to an end, he wants to set up the winter arrangement complete with thick, warm carpets! I have tried to explain to him how Cyprus has no autumn and winter doesn't kick in til the end of November - but to no avail. This is usually how our conversations go:
My son: (standing next to the couch, trying to move it) I want.
Me: No.
My son: (pushing it out of place a little) I want.
Me: No.
My son: (pushing it out of place a little more) I want.
Me: NO.
(this can go on for as long as an hour)
Then when he finally gets it, he stands by the basement door:
My son: Downstairs (where the carpets are)
Me: No.
My son: Downstairs
Me: No.
My son: Downstairs
Me: (at cracking point) NOOOOO.
Half an hour later he stops, an hour may pass and then he remembers and it starts all over again. I am sure my son was sent to me to teach me patience - sometimes I take deep breaths and try to stay calm... but this is real life and not a film so most of the time I lose it - i am human after all and my son can test the patience of a saint (my husband).
At least that one is at home, when we go out to a restaurant/mall/play area - basically anywhere that has a toilet area - as soon as we arrive, he has an incessant need to go to the the restroom to check it out. If the toilets have any kind of gadget in there - an automatic soap/paper towel dispenser or hand dryer, then we can expect to be pulled in there 4/5 times. I don't know how he does it but he will pee every time he goes in there even if it is to squeeze out just one or two drops (maybe to excuse to us the need to go in there). Which is extremely annoying because we are usually in the middle of eating when he "has to go". How do we cope? We take him every time because if we don't then he just stands there and repeats "toilet" until we do.
And these are just 3 of the million little peculiar habits he has. Over time we have learnt when to give in and when to stand our ground, but I can tell you now that it can be exhausting! What can we do? Deep breaths, keep each other sane and on bad days pray for bedtime to come as soon as possible!
