Repelling our kindness - Paula Manoli-Gray
Last week saw the collection of money at traffic lights for a well-known, registered charity. I am all for charity and fundraising, and give willingly myself where and when I can to reputable charities, but I cannot stand being approached at traffic lights.
I think collecting at traffic lights is horrible. There is a real sense of pressure and of being backed into a corner; you cannot escape. I don't like charity being forced on me; I don't like being approached when I am in my car as I feel vulnerable, and most of the time I don't have a wallet on me (school runs, gym etc), but when I explain that to the collectors, I often feel as though they think I am fibbing. Everything about it is off-putting. I also read some time ago that this practise was being made illegal, but have not seen it stop, so once again I do not know if this is a case of another law being ignored, or if it was never passed.
Of course, we should all give what we can whether it is monetary, our time or just plain compassion, but we should be allowed to make the choice for ourselves as to when we will do it and who we will do it for. Many people give selflessly without publicising it and at their own discretion, but then when they are unable to give to those collecting at traffic lights, supermarket entrances and street corners, they are made to feel like Scrooge.
I also despise the two-facedness of some of the people who collect. A few weeks back, I bought a CD of children's Greek songs from my regular children's charity. A couple of nights later, I parked up at the seafront to meet some friends for coffee. I literally had €10 in my wallet for the meeting. A middle-aged man approached me with smiles and over-friendliness explaining that he was collecting for a children's charity and showed me his credentials, which appeared to be in order. I explained that I had given to a different charity a few days earlier and didn't have enough on me to also give him. At first he tried to tell me that if I gave to one children's charity I could easily give to another as he worked with them too. I tried to walk off, politely and firmly telling him that I was sorry, but I simply couldn't give. Then the mask of smiles came off and I was met with a tirade of abuse as I walked away. He told me that God would judge me, that I was a horrible person, and all sorts. Ironically, some of these people think they are virtuous because they collect for charity and have the right to judge others – not a very charitable trait at all!
At the end of the day, these collectors are doing more harm than good. The minute they open their mouths and start trying to introduce themselves with a voice full of over-friendliness and a long and convoluted story, I am completely put off and my first instinct is just to say 'no thank you' without hearing the end of their over-the-top speech. If they would quietly position themselves somewhere where I am not forced to give, but can decide for myself, then they have a much greater chance of my goodwill.
I am sure that not all people who collect for charity will turn nasty if you say no, but I am certainly always a little fearful. 'Giving' by definition means you want to offer something willingly, being forced to is called 'duress', and there is nothing charitable about that.
First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly, 24/10/14
Life for rent - Paula Manoli-Gray
It's that horrible time of year again. The one when we get a whole pile of end-of-year bills all at the same time, totalling an amount that will cripple the average household, mine included.
And to top it all off, we have new bills, such as the infamous and much despised new property tax. It hardly makes owning a home worth it when you can't afford to maintain it, and I think we are going to see a big shift in attitudes towards certain things that were always considered the 'right-thing-to–do-as-a-grown-up'.
By this, I mean the old ways of getting an education in order to secure a decent job, and owning your own home as a natural next step in life. Even getting married may soon become obsolete.
With so many highly educated young people struggling to find work, and ultimately ending up in jobs that are not reflective of their skills and education, it seems as though the way forward is no longer to have a degree but to simply leave school and start working from the bottom up - or take on an apprenticeship for experience on the job. I know of many people who – whilst others were spending 3-6 years in education – quietly worked their way up the ladder and found themselves in a far more favourable position at the end of it then their peers who left university with a slew of papers. And with technology being what it is nowadays, it isn't hard to fabricate a degree. I am in no way advocating this, but I have to admit that having a degree didn't help me much in my chosen career as a writer (but I did enjoy university life immensely!).
In the same vein, renting seems to be the way forward when it comes to property; you may not own your property, but even many of those who own, do not truly 'own' (the bank does!), and if you are renting, then there is no headache of fixing and maintaining the property or having to fork out when things go wrong. There are also no property related bills and taxes to pay outside of your utility bills… they all go to the landlord. On top of that, you can rent the property of your dreams, for example, with a swimming pool, whilst those who own theirs can only dream of affording to put in a pool. Then if you get fed up, simply rent somewhere else!
As for marriage, in many European countries it isn't financially worth it to walk down the aisle – not before (with the astronomical costs of a wedding), or after (when you lose the tax breaks and benefits of cohabiters).
For Cypriots at least, the Cypriot wedding tradition of gifting money still often allows the couple to buy their first property, or at least put a hefty deposit down, and Cypriots still value education to the point that they will work two jobs to send their kids to university abroad. But with this current crisis, and my generation being the first to be worse off than the last, I do fear for my children and can't imagine what kind of rented, borrowed or heavily loaned life they will have to lead if ours is getting this bad, this quickly…
First appeared in The Cyprus Weekly 17/10/14
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)